They really do the golfing thing

Reality always kicks harder than fiction, doesn't it?

I was called to an informal meeting in the office of one of the bank's senior department heads. He was a tall man in his 40s, young for the position. He gave a relatively short but serious speech about some of the problems the bank faces. As always when someone in a suit starts talking to other people in suits, I lost focus after 35 seconds and my mind and eyeballs started to wander.

The big wrap-around view from the corner office certainly was inviting, but I thought staring straight out the window would be a little obvious. Instead I kept my eyes pointed downward. This caused me to notice a golf putter propped against the far wall of the office, with four golf balls on the floor next to a small practice cup.

Now, I know what you're thinking - come on, get real, only in Hollywood parodies and bad TV shows do bank executives actually practice their putting in the office. But there it was: a putter, four balls and a plastic bracket stuck to the floor. I stared long and hard to make sure it was not an illusion.

After seeing the alchemists and the monkeys in the coffee machine I've learned to take a moment to focus and make sure that reality is what it seems. And oh yes, it is: bank executives really do practice their short game in the office, with a bad carpet as a green and their desk chair and garbage bin as obstacles.

Salary scale humour

Companies here normally hire temps and give them permanent contracts after a three-month probation. Last week the bank finally offered me a contract, after a delay caused by changes that emerged from higher up in the hierarchy (more on that later).

A few days after the offer was made, my manager and I met with our human resources liaison to discuss the terms of my contract. The HR staffer, an attractive young woman, took me through all the details involved. She told me that my salary scale was going to be set at level 6.9.

What? That's awesome!

I almost asked if I could keep this number even if I got a promotion, but I let the moment pass. The HR staffer went on to discuss pension contributions and holiday pay, but my attention span doesn't stretch that far so I just sat there thinking rather sheepishly how even though my actual salary sucked at least my rank was a number worth having.

My colleague is funny ha-ha

Almost as soon as I start work on my first day, it's evident my main colleague is a very funny guy who finds great humour in the absurdities of corporate culture. At opportune moments he grabs phones and says silly things into them, for example.

Maybe, just maybe, I can do this.